Stepping Away

So this is kind of a non-announcement as it's not really an announcement and it's not really a big deal. But I've had a couple of people ask so this is more of a 'Frequently Asked Questions' situation.

I'm going to be stepping away from Burlesque for a while; not quitting, as such, just not getting involved in the hustle any more. I will be honouring bookings I've already got in my diary and I'm still available for shows but I'm not going to be travelling much outside London, and I'm not going to be pushing for constant work, work, work.

I took the decision a couple of weeks ago to reactivate my 'real' profiles on Facebook and Twitter. I realised a long time ago that Facebook can be poison and I was finding myself getting horribly depressed over the smallest, most insignificant posts and pictures. I will still use my Burlesque profile, but only for what it was intended to be; a networking tool.
I went back onto my 'real-life' profile and deleted everyone I didn't know or didn't care about (I set it up when I was in college and got carried away, accepting friend requests from all and sundry, whether I knew them or not, whether they were current friends or people I went to primary school with!). I made a conscious choice to only add people from the industry if I considered them, what I call 'Coffee Friends'. That's not to say that I don't class a huge amount of people I work with as friends, but if I can't hang out with them and drink coffee, and talk about things *other* than Burlesque; if I'm 'Mia' to them; if I couldn't call them with a personal problem; if they don't know much more about me than the bare basics, and if the only things they post on their pages are related to the industry, then, with the greatest respect and love, then I'm not going to add them in my real life. If I loose 'friends' over this, then it kind of just proves the point that we're obviously not 'real-life' friends in the first place.

Facebook is NOT REAL LIFE anyway! And it was starting to mess with my head; being a not-real person on a not-real medium. What we post on Facebook, for the most part, is an airbrushing of our real-lives; as, what is essentially a fictional character, that is another step away from reality; and with some Burlesque performers this can create a whole load of shite; "ooh, look at my new amazing costume" "ooh, how sparkly is this necklace" "oh that bitch can't do her make-up for shit" "oh I'm so, hashtag, annoyed"... I've fallen prey to this in the past, and as a networking tool Facebook is perfect for showing off new acts, costumes, finding out about gigs and keeping up with the Joneses. But it's not healthy for me to be so submerged in this any more. So I'm stepping away.

In real life I'm moving on; I'm growing up I guess (gasp!). It was bound to happen. As much as my stage age might be one thing (and I still, sometimes, get ID'd at bars, in supermarkets buying wine, and, once or twice, for lottery tickets!) I'm no longer a spring chicken, and sometimes I feel downright old! I have some wonderful things happening at the moment: I have a new job - a proper, grown-up, full-time job, that I'm really excited about and want to give my all to. I have also been accepted into University in order to take a course which will top-up the vocational qualification I already have into a full, BA(Hons) Degree. My significant other is also moving on with new projects and circumstances are changing for us. In the context of all these events, Burlesque can no longer be my priority and I no longer, really, want it to be.

Growing up is scary!

I don't really know whether I like it any more. The industry has changed beyond recognition from when I started all those years ago. In the last eighteen months a lot of the top performers have either quit completely, wound down their performing a lot, or moved into other aspects of the industry away from performing. A few of them have written really interesting blogs about their reasons for doing so, others have chosen silence over huge statements. I'm still a performer through and through so I'm choosing the big bang :P
When I first started, Burlesque was still relatively underground and exciting. There were hardly any shows or clubs outside London and small, emerging groups of performers in a handful of the big cities. Back then the newer performers worked for free, or expenses, or, excitingly, around £50 cash; and the top performers were earning hundreds or sometimes thousands of pounds for corporate events, launch parties and private shows. Nowadays the newer performers are demanding to be paid for every single show, and the established performers are being asked to work for free. The Burlesque Bubble burst many years ago; it's rare to get a huge paycheck for anything these days yet the standards are higher and the competition is fierce. Where are all these performers getting the money for their costumes?! Why should performers think that swarovski equals talent... and breathe. I blogged about all that crap a year or so ago, and I don't want to care that much any more. There are much more important things to occupy my brain space with than glitter and fairy dust.

From my first ever Burlesque performance

I've had a couple of setbacks anyway that have forced me to rethink my choices. I blogged about one of them when it happened. And recently I've heard things about myself, read something about myself, and been told things to my face that, while I may appear to be unfazed or nonchalant about, have actually really got to me in the end. I no longer want to be made to feel bad about myself. I no longer want to be sat at home thinking "why did that person get that job?" "how did she get that gig and not me?" "what do I have to do to make people book/want/like me?" That kind of thinking is pure evil and I refuse to allow it in my head any more.
I don't want to be made to feel like I'm not a good performer because I can't afford a custom-made eight-thousand ply ostrich feather boa. I'm not less of a person because I buy my underwear from Primark and not Agent Provocateur. And, elephant in the room, I may be slightly curvier and less toned than some of the gorgeous ladies I share a stage with, but I am, by no means, fat. I am size ten, with a bit of a belly and some cellulite. And nine times out of ten, I'm fine with that. I want that to be ten times out of ten. It's funny that Burlesque gave me the confidence to be happy with my body (after being massively overweight as a child, followed by years of eating disorders, I've tipped the scale at both ends!), yet has ended up almost destroying my body confidence in the end. I've said it before and I'll say it again: As Burlesque becomes more commercially acceptable, there is a lean towards a more commercially accepted ideal of beauty. And I don't fit that. I know that, and I've tried to. But you know what? I like food. I like ice-cream and the occasional take-away. I like wine. I really like wine. So that's that.

I still love performing; I love being on stage, I love creating new acts, dressing up, putting on make-up; I love the adrenaline rush of being in front of an audience, the feeling of doing an act really well, of accomplishment. And I love it when the audiences members tell me afterwards that they loved my act or that I was their favourite (even if they say the same to every single performer on the night!).
I've made so many friends, real friends, had some amazing experiences and incredible opportunities that would never have happened without Burlesque, and I don't regret it for one moment. But all good things must come to an end, and a lot of the things that made Burlesque good for me have ended - whether actually ended or just come to an end in my mind.

And you know what? The last couple of weeks, I've been really happy. Actually, real-life happy. I'm not constantly comparing myself, my life, my choices or my body; I'm doing things and seeing things and being with people that I really, genuinely want to do, see and be with, and it's flippin' wonderful.

So I'm not going to stop completely. Just step away. I guess I'll be a (shudder) hobbyist. And I'm fine with that. I think I'll enjoy it more now it's not my main focus any more. I won't be scrabbling for scraps of gigs or sucking up to people I don't want to suck up to just in case they might throw a show my way in three months time. I'm going to do the shows I want to to do, with the people and the companies I want to work with. And I'm going to be fucking fabulous while I do it.

Freedom!

New Years Resolutions!

This time last year (can't even believe it was a whole year ago!) I made some New Years Resolutions for 2013. In 2012 I made the resolution to start, and keep, a blog... and here we are two years later - where does the time go?

1) Begin Dance Classes Again

2) Take Horse-Riding Lessons

3) Learn A Language

4) Apply For International Festivals

These were the four resolutions I set for myself... did I achieve them? Well, no, not really. But let me explain...

Dance Classes and Horse-Riding fell by the wayside when Burlesque On Ice came along. But this is a good thing. Reading through why I made certain resolutions; I wanted to go back to dance classes as I love dancing and performing, and wanted to push myself once my confidence had returned, to try a new dance style I'd never tried before... I think I can allow myself to feel that Ice Skating is a new style! It was also an exercise thing - however having spent the last six months skating at least two or three times a week, I'd say I've got that part covered!

The Horse-Riding resolution was also to learn a new skill; it's something I enjoy and something I'd wanted to do for myself and not for my career. While I didn't particularly get on with Figure Skating when I first started, and it was obviously something taken up with performance in mind, it is something I have grown to love and I can see myself keeping up, for myself, for years. And I managed to go Horse-Riding once!

I am not great with languages. I know this. The problem is two-fold - sometimes I know I know the word for something, but can't remember it; sometimes I know a word in a different language but cannot for the life of me remember what it means. However I'm trying!

Looking back over this resolution from last year, it's quite funny that I've turned it upside down slightly - I wanted to focus on French with possibly a little Spanish. As it's happened I've started learning Italian and Polish! Slightly different, I'm sure you'll agree! Polish is incredibly difficult as it bears absolutely no relationship to the English language but my boyfriends family are Polish and we're hoping to go to Krakow in 2014 so it's a good one to have. And Italian as we have friends out there and want to go for a couple more visits in the coming months (any excuse for a holiday, really!) 

I'm definitely not proficient though, and this makes me a bit disappointed in myself. I need more focus and dedication, and to not let my mind wander or be so easily distracted.... ooh, shiny thing...

Finally, I made the resolution to apply to international festivals, and I did. I didn't get in, but I didn't particularly expect to; it was the applying and conquering my fear of festivals that was the big deal for me. And I guess I did that in a small way by filling in and sending off the application forms for the first time in my Burlesque career!

So.... this brings us to 2014! 

What are my New Years Resolutions for this year? Well...

1) Finish What I Start

This look back at my New Years Resolutions from last year is quite sad, and made me realise that I am actually a bit flaky regarding things for myself. So my main resolution this year is to try and see things through to the end, for myself.
In 2013 I tried, and stopped, so many things - joining a gym, writing a novel, Rosetta Stone... to name just a few. It's disappointing to myself that I never finished any of them! This year I aim to start - and finish - more new and exciting things: maybe I'll finally learn a language, or *finish that novel I've been working on*... (Family Guy quote for you there...)

2) Get Fit And Healthy

Inspired by two ladies I'm lucky enough to be friends with on Facebook - ReeRee Rockette and Exotic Luna Rosa. Last year, ReeRee made her New Years Resolution to make 2013 the year of being fit and healthy. Not loosing weight per-se, but to get stronger, eat better and exercise more. She recently posted a picture of how far she's come from this time last year, and it's truly remarkable: she looked gorgeous in both pictures but has achieved her goal of being fitter and healthier, and looks absolutely stunning for it.
Luna Rosa is a burlesque performer and fitness model, and is one of the most beautiful women I know. She has just launched her new project The Body Odyssey and is going to be running classes in Covent Garden. I would give anything to look even half as good as Luna, and she is truly inspirational as she works so hard and is so dedicated.
So, inspired by these two women, I will aim to make 2014 the year of being fit and healthy: not giving into fad diets, and not really aiming to loose weight - just becoming stronger and healthier. I have a terrible diet at the moment, and other than ice-skating I don't really exercise. I am going to change that, and (see resolution the first) hopefully see it through!

3) Drink More Water

I am a Diet Coke addict. Not going to lie. I drink it like it's... erm... water. Which I need to drink more of. So there we go.
Benefits of drinking water include weight loss (as it fills you up, contains no calories and flushes out waste products and toxins), reducing headaches (as many headaches are caused by dehydration) and giving you younger looking skin.
Since I drink so much Diet Coke, I am aiming to replace at least some of this with water... I can't cut out the sweet stuff completely!

4) Try More New Things

I'm not going to be more specific on this one, as my specific resolutions fail. But I am going to set myself the challenge to do something new or exciting at least once or twice a month. I don't think that's too big of an ask - whether this something new is simply trying a new coffee flavour at Starbucks, or walking a different way home (when it's not raining, of course: then I just want to get home as quickly as possible), or as exciting as going to an aerial class, skydiving or learning to jump on a pogo stick...

Burlesque On Ice

So, as those of you who read my blog (or are friends with me on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram) will know, I have been working, for the last couple of months, on an incredibly exciting project...

Burlesque On Ice!

The show will be at Bush Hall, Shepherds Bush from the 4th - 8th February 2014, with two shows a night.

Featuring top show skaters including Hollie Deller: who was, among other accolades, Scottish Solo Ice Dance Champion, Primary British Pairs Champion, and a member of 'Holiday On Ice' for three years; and hosted by Scarlet Sparkle and the inimitable Joe Morose alongside the creme de la creme of the UK Burlesque industry, including Vicky Butterfly, Gwendoline Lamour and Ruby Deshabille!

Hollie Deller

Scarlet Sparkle and Joe Morose

 

Gwendoline Lamour ** Vicky Butterfly

Ruby Deshabille

Since the auditions in June, everyone has been hard at work - skating at least three times a week, juggling work, shows, rehearsals, filming, travel, childcare and life to attend lessons with our producer Sam Jenkins, and our coach and choreographer Sarah Christou.

Sarah Christou by Zebrowski Photography

In January the cast goes in to intensive rehearsals, in preparation for show week; learning and blocking choreography, both solo and group numbers, rehearsing acts for the stage and the ice, and finalising the script and show run. It's going to be insane and exciting and stressful, but ultimately worth it as we take over the beautiful Bush Hall for a week in February and combine, for the first time, the glamour and seduction of Burlesque with the breathtaking skill of Figure Skating, and mashing it all together with comedy, song, dance, drag, magic, and lots and lots of swarovski crystals!

Not my skates, unfortunately, but a girl can dream!

The show has its own blog, written by the fabulous Glorian Gray, and has featured on other blogs, including Sister Snog and Tigz Rice

We have also been lucky enough to work with incredible companies including Frou Frou Feathers and What Katie Did

So - as an homage to the last six months of rehearsals, I present my picture (and video) montage of the cast of Burlesque On Ice!

Glorian Gray and I off to auditions in June!

Queens Ice Rink - my second home for the last six months.

 

Shiny new skates, ready to hit the ice!

Showgirls on Ice! With Jasz Vegas and Felixy Splits!

 

Playing with fans on ice: with Felixy, Hollie, Bonnie Fleur and Ruby!

Promo shoot with Tigz Rice Studios

Learning how to put moves together...

 

Branding galore! Stealth advertising!

First public performance at Westfield London!

 

On Ice, Backstage and After-Show at Westfield London

Burlesque On Ice teaser video released!

Filming for Magic FM

Christmas Jumper Fundraiser with Arlene Phillips

Saucy Christmas Jumper!

We were (briefly) on the news...

And been in Burlesque Bible...

And the London Evening Standard!

It's been an exhausting, emotional, exciting journey so far; I'm looking forward to what the next six weeks brings as the culmination of all of our hard work and dedication will show its rewards.

I've found it incredibly challenging on so many levels: learning a completely new skill that is so alien to anything I've ever done has been exceptionally difficult, and for the longest time I didn't feel as though I'd ever get the hang of it. Sometimes even staying upright was a toughie!

I've had to contend with old injuries and issues from my dance training days flaring up again, and learn to use my body in a different way. I've dragged myself out of bed to get to the rink at 7a.m. some mornings to get extra practise in before daytime commitments (and I am not a morning person!), or for promotional work for TV and media.

And I've had to re-learn how to work as part of a cast rather than a solo performer once again, putting what I want behind what is best for the end result, and keeping the bigger picture in mind rather than any individual wants. 

There have been bumps and bruises on bottoms and egos; arguments, giggles, cuddles and wine; we have ended up in a cast pile-on more times than I can count; there have been face-plants, spectacular fails and wonderful moments of achievement; we have progressed, as a cast, from barely being able to go forwards without wobbling to jumping, spinning, and putting on a massive show. I've made some amazing new friends and built up friendships with some I only knew as acquaintances. 

I love it. It's something I never even imagined I'd get the chance to do and I'm so excited for what I know will be the most brilliantly bonkers show I've ever been part of, and the most fabulous show of 2014!

BRING. IT. ON... ICE!

xx

Why Burlesque?

Burlesque is Glamour. The word conjures up images of extravagantly attired showgirls and beautiful women disrobing in Martini glasses; fabulous singers with voices that soar to the rafters; wonderful comedians reducing the audience to tears of laughter; incredible circus acts dazzling open-mouthed spectators. And that is the appeal.

However: Why Burlesque? Why this particular form of entertainment? Probably somewhat ironically, I personally don't understand this need for men and women to shed their clothes at any local pub or club that decides to titillate their regulars with a supposedly risque show.

If burlesque is about your desire to perform and the wish to be on-stage, join an Amateur Dramatics association and display your talents there (Amateur does not mean 'bad' it merely means you are not being paid) Is it because in an Amateur company you would be subject to the whims of the director and not able to direct yourself? A company is just that, and if you go wrong, you will stand out for the wrong reasons and lower the standard of the rest of the group – when you are on your own on-stage, it is just you, and unless you seriously get something wrong, you are the only one who is going to know. Is it because you have to pay 'subs' to join an amateur company? You will end up spending thousands more on costumes for burlesque performance as you constantly try and up your game. Or is it because you simply can't commit to a regular rehearsal night and a week of performances? Burlesque is much less rigid, but, because of this, massively unpredictable. 

Or is it because Burlesque is 'easy'? All you need is a pretty dress, some pants from Primark with sequins stuck on them, and some big band music, then you just strut around the stage don't you?

Is it because it is 'empowering'? Reclaiming your femininity and sensuality in a creative fashion? These terms have been thrown around a lot, hand in hand with Burlesque: I understand that having the undivided attention of a room of strangers, all of whom seem to be whipped into a frenzy by the merest hint of flesh, is supremely attractive, especially if you are feeling unappreciated in other areas of your life. However, surely the expectation of the audience in this instance is terrifying – they are waiting for you to remove your clothing until you are nearly naked. How is being semi-nude in a room full of strangers empowering? Isn't this scenario one of the classic 'nightmares', along with being in an exam and realising you've not revised? If you are feeling undervalued and unappreciated, maybe there are issues you need to work out yourself, and not on stage in front of a group of strangers who have all paid to be entertained, not made uncomfortable!

I often feel that audiences whoop and cheer for a performer, simply because it is the accepted response in a Burlesque show – indeed a compère may well incite the audiences to whoop and shout as a reaction to a glove being removed, to the point that the audiences may feel uncomfortable themselves if they do not provide the required soundtrack

One thing I hear from women while I'm sipping champagne after a show (there are some wonderful moments, honest!) is 'You must be so confident.' Or a variation on this theme. Well, no, not really. Anyone who's shared a backstage environment with me before a show will know that I'm either semi-paralysed with nerves or suffering with an acute case of verbal diarrhoea. I get nervous because I'm a performer and I want to turn in the best damn performance of my life each time I step on each stage.

Burlesque doesn't instil its devotees with sudden sex-appeal and body-confidence. Sometimes it can be quite the opposite: when you know every inch of your body is going to be scrutinised by hundreds of eyes, you can become incredibly paranoid. Yes, it can be lovely to feel appreciated by a wonderful audience but please see my previous point!

So many seem to be drawn to Burlesque, often coming from little or no performance background – why? Aside from the inexperience, which may be obvious to an audience, are they aware of the etiquette of a backstage environment? How to finish an act? Stage directions and positioning? How to talk to stage, sound and lighting crew (if you are lucky enough to perform in a venue that has a tech team!) without coming across as a diva? How to conduct or manage themselves or the sheer hard work involved. I'm making sweeping generalisations here: there are definitely newer performers out there who are talented or unique or simply very polite and willing to work hard.

I have been working in Burlesque and Cabaret for almost six years, and I love it. I'm not going to deny that I have moments when I want to pull my hair out and scream, but it's like family: you may have moments where it's horrible and you want out, but overall the love brings you back. But I still wonder why? Why this revealing (literally), difficult, often lonely (if you are working on your own, you may not have others to support or direct you), financially unrewarding art form? If you suggested that this woman may want to become a stripper or a pole-dancer in her local gentleman’s club, she would be offended, but the addition of a pair of pasties and a rhinestoned g-string makes dancing on the floor of a local pub okay?

Did you know, “a glamour” was a spell that witches would cast on themselves to appear young and beautiful in order to ensnare handsome men. It was a method of changing their own appearance to fool people into thinking they were something they were not. This is obviously folklore and fairy-stories, but the use of the word itself is interesting: when describing someone as 'glamorous' we literally mean they have altered their looks beyond recognition.

But people buy into this: They see performers who have perfected their glamorous image and believe that it is as easy as donning a beautiful costume and setting their hair and make-up just so, and that they too can be jet-setting, international Burlesque performers, sleeping in late, wearing silks and velvets, then being chauffeured to exclusive venues for expensively produced shows in front of adoring crowds.

They do not see the years of training and hard-work, the nights spent stitching hems or glueing crystals to corsets, the missed birthday parties or family gatherings due to not being able to cancel a show, the ridiculously early starts for flights or trains to shows, and dragging giant suitcases through tube stations, up broken escalators or through knee deep snow. They also don't see the many bad gigs, the getting changed in toilets (yes it's happened to us all!), the running across town for two or three shows per night or the dilemma of choosing whether to eat tomorrow or buy another packet of Swarovski...

Again, these are sweeping generalisations but they are drawn from my own experience and I know that I'm not unique in these

So yes – in this respect, Burlesque is completely and utterly Glamour. I recently changed in a bar storage room, perching on an empty beer keg while I applied glitter to my lips using a pocket mirror to check my reflection underneath a bare lightbulb. On-stage I was covered in thousands of sparkling crystals, dancing with six-foot ostrich plumes in impossibly high heels. Glamour.

There was a thread recently on Facebook regarding 'newbies' quoting preposterous sums for shows, and I wonder why this is? There are obviously a lot of things coming into play, but many of the performers who started around the time I did, and before and for a long time after, were aware that the standard route was unpaid/expenses shows, until you reached a point where you felt able to charge a fee. Glorian Gray offers fee-workshops, which are very helpful, as I know many often query what to quote. I still do.

It seems to be a new thing; that relative newcomers are unwilling to work for stage time/publicity/experience/expenses. This is a topic of conversation for another blog but I believe it has to do with a few main points:

The rise of Facebook: more established performers rant about being asked to work for the aforementioned offerings, leading to newer performers feeling that it is also below them.

The recession: we have less to spend and people may be turning to Burlesque believing it will subsidise another income. (hint - it won't. It will suck up your life, your money and your mind.) leading them to be less than enthusiastic about accepting non-paying jobs.

But it looks bad. No one cares that you have performed in a show with 'X' dancer - this says nothing about you, just that you had the good fortune to be on the same bill as a highly regarded performer. Nor does it matter, really, in Cabaret, that you might have a degree or a qualification (I have a professional musical theatre degree), you still have to put in the slog and hard work. 

It definitely won't happen overnight. It probably won't happen in a year. It *might* happen in two or three years if you're lucky and talented. But it will only work if you work at it.

Everyone needs to start somewhere. I realise this. There are newcomer nights and events for newbies all over the country which are dedicated to nurturing the best of the new talent. I hate to make yet another generalisation but usually, the best of the newcomers are those who have already had experience of performing in another genre.

So maybe this is the key: try other things first – dance classes, clowning workshops, singing lessons, etc. Hone your talent base first, then, if you're sure you want to, bring something new and creative to the burlesque stage. But please, don't believe for one moment that it's easy, that it's simple, that you will suddenly gain massive amounts of confidence or sex-appeal, that you will become rich and famous overnight, or that we're all as bitchy as this blog makes me sound!

A Weighty Issue

This week I encountered a situation that has a) taken me by surprise and b) never happened to me in over six years of performing burlesque and cabaret.

I was told that in order to continue performing at a venue I needed to loose weight.

I have been working there regularly for a while and always received excellent feedback from customers, staff and fellow performers. However it seems to be that on this one particular occasion a manager decided I was too fat and asked the poor show booker to call me and tell me I needed to drop some weight in order to continue working there. I can only imagine how she must have felt before delivering the news!

Apparently he had been watching the show with some of his friends and they thought I needed to loose a few pounds. I was also told that there had been comments from some of the audience members as well.

Below are some quotes from feedback on the venue page on various review websites, pertaining to nights I know I was performing:

"The burlesque girl had an amazing voice and only did one burlesque song where we got what we could consider entertainment. I truly thought she was wasted in that place. She looked the part and put her heart into it but I think she was restricted to what she was able to do."

"...a delightful solo singer/dancer."

"...the show was great (more cabaret than burlesque) and probably one of the better shows I've seen."

"We loved the burlesque dancer, she was so fabulously sexy and very playful with the audience, she had everyone smiling."

Now, given the propensity of the internet to go overboard on bitchiness when protected by anonymity, this does not seem, to me, to reflect the opinion that audience members think I am overweight; more the opinion of one man and his mates.

I am not. I am a size 8 to 10 - with perhaps a little extra junk in my trunk than a commercial size ten model.

I admit this next part is going to sound a little 'girl-crazy': I often get audience members, after a show, telling how nice it is to see a 'real' woman on stage, or saying how I make them feel good because I'm not a skinny minnie. Things like that. I have issues with those statements on many levels (because I *am* girl-crazy!) but what they are basically saying is that it's nice to see that a woman doesn't have to conform to a certain look, weight or body shape in order to be fabulous, sexy and an entertaining performer.

And that's one of the many problems I have with this whole thing: I have never, ever been told that I need to loose weight in order to perform at a venue or show. I am good at my job and my lack of commercially aesthetic perfection has never been an issue. I am hired because of my acts, my performance standard and my work ethic; not because of how I do or do not look.

I sent a very polite, very reasonable (under the circumstances) email back, explaining that I was no longer prepared to work at the venue. I refuse to work for someone who has such a misogynistic viewpoint and would not feel comfortable performing there any more.

Also: how would they propose to police it? Are they going to weigh all their performers and not hire those who do not fall within certain, pre-defined limits? Are measurements going to have be sent with CV's with weekly sessions with a tape measure to check each girl doesn't creep over a set waist to hip ratio?! What the hell? 

Admittedly, performing burlesque, I realise I invite a certain amount of critique. Performing to audiences raised on a diet of airbrushed page three girls or waif-like catwalk models, anything deviating from this supposed ideal is going to get a raised eyebrow or two. However I am healthy, I am fit, and I know my body and its limitations. 

Coming from a dance background I have heard horror stories of weigh-ins at auditions (even auditions for colleges and schools), of students being told to loose weight throughout their time training, of dancers not being hired because their body shape is not suitable for a particular job. And obviously in the modelling world this kind of discrimination is also rife. However I am happy to say I have never before encountered any of this sort of thing: I come from a very supportive family and went to a wonderful college where the focus was on training each student to be the best they can be, not on forcing them to fit into an identikit mould. I am, and always will be grateful for this.

It has taken me a long, long time to become comfortable with my body shape and natural size. Throughout my late teens and early twenties I struggled with an eating disorder and I have tipped the scales at both ends of the spectrum. I have dieted off and on and my weight fluctuates on an almost daily basis. Now, if I decide to diet it's usually based on how my costumes feel - I don't own scales and refuse to weigh myself - and if they're getting a little snug I loose a little weight. Purely because I need my costumes in order to do my job; if they don't fit I can't afford to buy new ones!!

If I was a newbie, or less mentally strong than I am, or even still in the throws of disordered eating, this could have potentially been devastating. As it is, I got angry, got a bit ranty and wrote this blog.

Burlesque is, or should be, first and foremost about entertainment. If a performer is entertaining I'm usually not looking at whether or not they have a twenty-six inch waist, I'm enjoying their act. There are so many burlesque artists who do not have a so-called 'perfect' body, but that doesn't detract from the impact of their performances. Burlesque embraces all shapes and sizes and celebrates femininity in all its forms - it is through burlesque that I have learned to, if not love, at least appreciate my body (cheesy but true!) and I will never, ever allow someone to make me feel less than wonderful about myself.

Hair Today

This isn't so much a blog as an observation that's too long and convoluted to put into a Facebook status!

So, those of you who either know me in real life or follow this blog will know that I have had a *lot* of hair colours and styles. I blogged about it last year. I also adore wigs and hair pieces and usually wear one when performing...

 

Short blonde ** Long blonde

 

Short brunette ** Long brunette

I've noticed that, usually, I get much more attention - both male and female - when I have long hair, whether I wear it down or have it pinned up or in a headscarf: people smile at me more, are more considerate, presume I am younger and are generally friendlier.

Short hair/No make-up: Only on a day off! 

Short hair/Full make-up: Heading for a day out, or going around town

Long hair/No make-up: On my way to a show or shoot

Long hair/Full make-up: On my way to shows/shoots or a night out

For example, a couple of weeks ago I was heading to work then to a show: I had short hair, day make-up and a large, heavy suitcase. The attendant at the train station told me he couldn't help me with my case up and down the many flights of stairs, no one else offered help, even to the point of getting huffy with me if they perceived me and my suitcase to be in their way. Yesterday I was heading to a show, with long hair but no make-up - the attendant at the station helped me with my case, someone on the busy train gave up their seat for me and the man at the coffee booth gave me a free coffee. 

I have many more instances of things like this happening, and I'm positive it has happened to other ladies too.

Why is this? Why the difference in reaction purely down to hair length? I wear the same clothes and make-up regardless of hair length - I don't treat people any differently when I have long hair compared to short, so why do people treat me differently?

Have any of you half-wig/wig/hairpiece wearing ladies noticed this too? What are your thoughts on it?

London Festival of... What?

So, London is hosting its 'first' Festival of Cabaret... this is wonderful: it will be a massive platform and boost to the thriving London cabaret scene. Or at least it would be if it wasn't completely comprised of Musical Theatre performers and Comedians.

One of the festival headliners is the television personality Alexander Armstrong - he is even advertised on the festival website as 'Cabaret newcomer'. How can someone who has never performed in a cabaret show before be suitable to headline an international festival? Oh, that's right, because he's been on the telly and therefore will pull in audiences who don't really have any idea what Cabaret is or can be, and will be treated to a plethora of one-man or one-woman shows featuring Jazz and Musical Theatre standards with a bit of banter and some lame jokes thrown in.

Okay, so: Cabaret literally means "entertainment that breaks down the 'fourth wall'  in a venue where food and drink is served." So, yes, what the London Festival of Cabaret is offering is definitely covered by the umbrella term of Cabaret; the one man show is a mainstay of the cabaret industry (Dusty Limits, Sarah Louise Young, Mat Ricardo... the list goes on), to label this event 'The London Festival of Cabaret' is wrong. How can a festival featuring only one aspect of the cabaret genre claim to represent the entire scene?

Where are the Cabaret superstars? Meow Meow, Frisky and Mannish, Lady Rizo and all of the other hard-working, internationally known names associated with cabaret? I understand the lure of having 'names' such as Elaine Paige and Maria Friedman, but surely place them alongside those who have created and nurtured the cabaret industry to the level we are at, to the level that warrants its own festival, rather than jumping on the coat-tails of the newest buzz word.

The festival website claims that it will "[place] London as a world leader in this unique art form." I'm sorry, but last time I checked, London was already a world leader in this unique art form, thanks to the hundreds of performers working in a cabaret circuit they created.

This festival is pretty much a kick in the teeth to the London cabaret scene, and has ruffled plenty of feathers. The performers who work, day in and day out to pull the cabaret genre out of the underground and combat the idea of the media that cabaret is something old men with single keyboards do at holiday parks in backwater seaside towns.

I have a good friend who has worked for many years on cruise ships: he gets paid a couple of hundred pounds a week extra to perform a 'cabaret' show: he sings a bit of jazz, some musical theatre songs, chats with the old dears in the audience enjoying their dinner, and buggers off. I also have friends who work as variety performers and often do 'fly-in' shows on board cruise ships. When I questioned my friend on the possibility of taking a variety show on board a cruise ship to perform as the cabaret, he told me it would be impossible and ridiculous as what I was suggesting was 'not cabaret'. He went on to say (after a very heated debate) that my "definition of cabaret was obviously not the industry standard" and ooh, how I got on my high horse then.

Unfortunately, this festival seems to prove this narrow viewpoint correct: the wider theatre industry in the UK considers this one particular style to be 'Cabaret' in its entirety.

I doubt the organisers of the festival will particularly listen or care. The festival seems to have been created as a publicity machine for some of the West End stars, using well known, household names to sell tickets and make money rather than to promote and publicise the burgeoning Cabaret scene itself. I would love to see them consider the viewpoints of the many raised voices speaking out about this: perhaps by putting on some bona-fide Cabaret stars alongside their 'names': by featuring many of the wonderfully talented variety, circus and burlesque performers who comprise the *true* London cabaret industry.

And if not - why not put on our own?!
xx

London Festival of Cabaret - http://www.londonfestivalofcabaret.com/
Festival Twitter Feed - https://twitter.com/LonFestCabaret

What Makes A Good Performer?

This is something I have been considering a lot recently. With the Burlesque Festival season in full swing, many of the top performers are doing the rounds and appearing in festival shows the world over. More so this year than any other, it seems to be many the same performers featuring at the festivals, which implies that they are head and shoulders above the rest of them.

There are also endless discussions on social networking sites: “Who is the best performer in the UK?” “Who is your favourite performer?” etc. where the same names appear time and time again. Again, this shows that certain performers are considered to be much, much better than most.

So, what makes a good performer? What makes someone memorable, recommendable and marketable? There are hundreds of performers in the UK, and many hundreds more abroad, so what does it take to stand out from the crowd and be considered 'one of the best'?

Some of the below are superficial, some are not: these are my opinions on what I believe makes someone both a good performer and what makes others think they are. I would also like to state that I have been on both sides (good costumes, not so good: part of a clique, not part of a clique, etc). I am not referencing any particular performers at any stage, these are mostly sweeping observations and statements meant to apply broadly rather than specifically.

Costume

I genuinely believe that this is one of the main factors in determining whether someone is perceived as a good performer: image is everything. For better or for worse, the audience and promoters will react more positively towards a dancer wearing a swarovski covered silk gown, than a dancer wearing unembellished primark underwear, regardless of whether the girl in the gown is actually a better performer.

A fabulous costume implies to others that you are committed to your art: that you have invested time, money and effort into your act. A poor costume implies that you don't care about your routine, despite whether your efforts have been concentrated towards your dance, acting or clowning ability.

Obviously image is important, and many of the best performers have realised this and invested a lot of time and money into their costumes, meaning that up and coming performers often believe that a beautiful outfit is the way to success.

Figure

I heard a wonderful quote a couple of weeks ago: as burlesque becomes more commercial, there is a lean towards a commercially perceived ideal of female beauty.

I tend to agree with this: burlesque is seen as a celebration of the female form in all its wonderful diversity, and there are many world class dancers who do not necessarily fit what the media considers to be an 'ideal' body type. However it's hard to disagree that most of the top performers also have amazing figures.

There is an obvious reason for this – if you are taking your clothes off in front of an audience, you want your body to look its best, so performers will exercise, diet and work hard at perfecting their figure. The more a dancer works, the more they will want to look good, meaning that the top performers will invest a lot of time and effort into their appearance, which perpetuates an idea that if you have a wonderful figure, you will also be a wonderful performer.

Face!

This is one of my particular favourite things with performers: those who give good face!

Some performers are wonderful dancers; some have perfect figures; some have incredible costumes. However if they don't look as though they are enjoying themselves, they are boring. Simple.

Facial expressions do a lot to enhance a performance: whether it's a growling sex-face, half-closed sex-kitten eyes, a coy rosebud mouth, a wide-open faux-shocked expression, or many combinations of these. It is proven that whenever an act is on stage, regardless of what the act is, most audience members will spend most of their time looking at the performers face – this is why TV broadcasts of variety acts usually employ close-up camera shots.

Conversely, many performers have realised the power of giving good face and have rehearsed certain facial expressions in the same way they will rehearse their dance moves. I actually don't like this: it shows and feels forced and stagnant, and many times I actually believe it affects the true potential of a routine.

The performers who are cited among the best know the power of the face and their facial expressions and have fun with them.

Who You Know

As with any walk of life, I honestly think this is one of the main parameters in predicting success. It's “Who you know, rather than What you know.”

The burlesque scene is often criticised for being cliquey. I actually don't think this is really a bad thing: if you are a promoter running a show, you may have an overarching theme in mind for the style of show you are putting on, in which case there may only be a handful of performers who will fit your vision. At the same time, if you have a group of performers you work with regularly, who are all good performers, who all get along well and turn in a consistently high standard of work, then of course you will book them rather than taking a chance on someone you don't know. It is a sensible way of ensuring your show meets your standards.

If you are a performer who is 'in' with one of these groups, you are guaranteed a level of exposure you wouldn't get if you were merely doing the rounds. Especially if that show is particularly well received, reviewed or respected. A regular performer with one of the best shows will naturally be viewed as one of the best performers, regardless of whether you actually are one of the best, or whether you merely happen to be friends with the promoter.

Training

One of the great things about burlesque is that it is open to all: anyone with a modicum of talent, or merely the craving to be on stage and be the centre of attention for a time can have a go, and some of these will rise to become incredible performers. There is no elitism with cabaret; no system of training as with drama schools, no exams and levels as with ballet; anyone with drive and determination can have a go.

However; most of the top performers have had some sort of training, whether before beginning burlesque or after starting when they realise that only by learning stage-craft can they progress. This might be learning basic performance skills such as dance or clowning, or specific talents geared towards one particular act. The best performers know that only by training can they hope to become the best, and keep improving.

Promotion

In one way or another, a lot of performers who are considered to be among the best, are masters of promotion. Some people just seem to have the knack for self-promotion on social networking sites or just generally.

Publicity seems to equal talent in many minds: there are performers in every art form who are described as 'coming out of no where' or being 'an overnight success'. On the whole this is generally not true, with these overnight successes usually working away for years before achieving a seemingly meteoric rise.

I often refer to burlesque as being the hardest sales job in the world. We are essentially selling a product to a consumer: the consumer being a show promoter and the product being ourselves. Good sales people can 'sell ice to the Eskimos' so if a performer is naturally good at this, they can make people believe that they are one of the best, whether they are or not, and whether they even realise they are doing it!

Self-Belief

After a combination of all of the above, a performer will be imbued with a sense of self-belief; believing the hype that they are a good performer. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy and will show on stage – all of the best performers own the stage: they know they audience can't take their eyes off them, and will turn in the best performance they can.

The top performers are often described as having that 'X-Factor' – that indefinable, indescribable aura on stage, where you simply can't look away. A friend put it succinctly when describing one act: 'they could take a shit on the stage and you'd still go wild for them'

This is truly the hallmark of what makes the best performers: the inherent belief that they are meant to be on that stage and you are meant to love them.